[Written for World Mental Health Day]
A slice of Monday realness …
Every Monday Olly and I sit down and write our to do lists for the week and plan what we want to achieve. This week’s list has felt huge.
I’m sure so many others are feeling like this in the run up towards Christmas. The overwhelming feeling of pressure that Christmas has already landed in so many shops and how on earth will we get everything ready in time.
The worry that all the time and money we’ve invested might not pay off because this Christmas will look so different to most. These are just a couple of the feelings that Olly and I have been experiencing over the last few weeks.
We love what we do so much but we’re still human and there are days when it feels so overwhelming and comparison steals our joy.
There are times when I wonder if we’ll ever be able to buy a house while we’re both self employed (mortgages and being self employed do not go hand in hand we’ve learnt), I worry that people might stop coming through our doors, that my mental health will be a struggle again and that covid will ruin our business. I want to stop right there and just normalise everything I’ve just said. I think if we stop trying to hide the bad parts we’ll be able to move on from them a whole lot quicker rather than keeping them hidden.
But then I have to remind myself how far I’ve come. My baby of a business has grown so much in the past 5 years. It was only 1.5 years ago that I was only able to pay myself £700 a month let alone be able to support both me and Olly.
No I’m not here for sympathy at all! In fact 95% of the time I’m living my absolute best life with this job, but I wanted to share the bad bits too. I’m over the fake pictures social media can so often paint and I’m totally guilty of being part of that problem. However I’m determined to change that and start sharing the realities to owning a small business.
So grateful for this journey and for the people who I’ve crossed paths with because of it, so thankful to get to do what I love so very much but also here to say there are bad days and that’s so okay too. Just make sure on those days to not look at where you want to be, but look back at how far you’ve come.